God’s Love and Prayer: Coping with Difficult and Painful Moments

Disclaimer: This blog has a story that may be hard for some to read. It is a true story from my day, and I want to share it because I think it is important. However, note that there is a part that discusses being drunk and abused. So, readers may wish to skip past this one or mentally prepare for the seriousness of it.

Sometimes, we find ourselves in situations that we can’t control. Once that, we didn’t create; we can only watch and pray. Today was one of those days where I was trapped in a situation that was out of my control and utterly broke my heart.

As I turned the corner to walk through the gates at the ferry terminal on my way to work, like I do every time I go to the office, I was met with an unexpected turn of events. It’s one where I could have put headphones in, ignored it, and continued on my way, not giving it a second thought. Or I could have watched and then kept going without letting it impact my day. In the past, I have done both. I saw something that made me uncomfortable and turned away from it or pretended it never happened.

But today, I couldn’t. As I turned that corner, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and opened my transit app to get my pass to show to the operator at the gate; I noticed he was in conversation with someone else. Usually, I would wait my turn for him to finish, show him my pass, and walk through the gate. However, today’s conversation didn’t seem like it would be ending soon. In his calm voice, the guard told the lady that she could not board because he had concerns for her safety and the safety of others due to the aroma coming off her. Whether or not she was actually intoxicated was a different story, he was basing it off his senses and he lack of ability to reason. The situation quickly escalated as the woman felt defensive and probably frightened, not because of anything the guard was doing but because he was very calm and kind and handled himself quite well during his training.

As I and others watched the situation intensify, I felt tears welling in my eyes. My heart broke for this woman. You could see the pain in her eyes. The fear behind her screams. She yelled racial slurs and threats at the guard, who stayed seated, stayed calm and tried to keep the peace. These comments went on for only a few seconds before a bystander got out of his seat, walked up to the lady and said, “Ma’am, you cannot talk to someone like that. You have no right to say those kinds of things to anyone.” He promptly turned to the guard and said, “I am sorry you have to hear that; you are doing a good job and don’t deserve to be treated with disrespect” before turning back to the lady and requesting once again that she stop saying such unkind things to this guard.

Shocked by this bystander’s words, that he didn’t come for a fight but rather to try and shut it down now and then work with reason, she responded with a phrase that crushed my soul. My heart sank as she said, “I can say what I want, and if you think I’m drunk, then why don’t you hit me.” The guard, stunned, didn’t say a word. The bystander took a deep, quiet breath and responded, “I will not hit you. I want to help you, but I can’t if you will keep speaking to my colleague or myself in this manner.”

The interaction between the three people went on for only a few minutes, as the ferry was fast approaching, and soon it would be unloading, and the guard and the bystander knew they needed a safe space to get off the ferry. At that moment, as the ferry docked, security for the facility arrived and asked the women to leave the building. She left, leaving behind a heavy feeling of sadness and grief. The bystander looked her in the eye and said, “I am sorry you’re hurting, but you don’t get to hurt others.” That’s not necessarily the best thing to say because it could cause more anger. However, I know that its intentions were meant to be harmless and more of a wake-up call if possible, and the bystander truly wanted this woman to not be in so much pain.

I quickly wiped the tears before peering around the room, seeing all the phone cameras out. With those last words ringing in my ears. “If you think I am drunk, then why don’t you hit me.” The pain she must be in for that to be her go-to defence mechanism. Unimaginable, at least for some. As I stood in that terminal, I felt a flood of memories. The tears filled my eyes again as I tried to compose myself because I could hear over the intercom, “The ferry is now boarding. The ferry is now boarding.” I needed to see clearly to walk onto the ferry. I started on my way and looked up to see that the bystander was actually a colleague of mine from volunteer work. I walked up to him and told him I thought he handled the situation as best as he could have, knowing his background, tools, and training. We all make mistakes in high-stress situations, and we can’t do it all perfectly, but he stayed calm and unthreatening and tried to listen and respond with grace and respect. This level of empathy and levelheadedness allows situations like this to not become violent despite our natural defences or coping strategies.

When I reached my office, I called my boyfriend, who is my go-to for debriefing on life’s little and big things. I told him the situation, and he asked a simple question at the end of our conversation. “Have you prayed about this yet?” “Have I prayed yet… well, in the moment, I did, but not intentionally.” was my answer. And it was in that question that I knew I needed to share this story. Because how quick are we to do everything but pray. How fast are we to film, lash out, open social media and mindlessly scroll, put our headphones in, drown our minds in a book, literally anything else but what God has called us to do when we are in an uncomfortable or scary situation. We miss our first and simple call to pray. Just pray.

But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. Luke 6:27-28

Lut us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may recieve mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of fiath will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. James 5:14-15

God has given us the tools to get through any situation, starting with prayer. Pray for the hurting, for those hurting others, for those helping the hurt, for us not to make the hurt worse, for wisdom to help without hurting, for peace, for control over thoughts and not to spiral, for prayer without ceasing.

I did not take the time to pray intentionally today. I opened my bible app, read the verse for the day, tapped through the prayer prompts, and went on my way. I did not give God the time and space to help me in my day. I panicked when met with a situation that was painful to watch, rather than leaning on him and submitting it in prayer. I wrestled with what was happening, how it was happening and whether I should be doing anything visibly to help. When I should have just stopped, put my phone down and prayed. I am still allowed to wrestle with it and be uncomfortable with it, but I need to submit all that to God and be uncomfortable with him in it. Sometimes, we get caught up in watching the world fall apart and do not know what to do, and we forget the biggest tool at our disposal. Today was one of those days for me.

With those hurting words still flashing in my mind, “If I am drunk, why don’t you hit me.” paired with memories of friends and colleagues in the past, getting hurt both with and without alcohol in the picture. Listening and reading news stories where the title read “person assaulted because they were drinking” rather than “person took advantage of someone who had been drinking.” In making some choices, we set ourselves up for hurt, but when we see someone who has made a poor choice, and we choose to take advantage of it, we have set the whole world up for hurt, including ourselves. And both versions need to be covered in love, grace and prayer.

In our prayers, we end up showing God’s love to those we are praying for. This is our next ‘simple’ calling: to love those around us.

God calls us to love and be loved. When we encounter a situation like the one today, where it would be easy to walk away, remember our calling: to pray and to love. In our prayers, we show love to the people involved.

1 John 4:7-21 talks about God’s love for us, and our calling to love each other. It also reminds us that in God’s love there is no fear. In the statement, “If I am drunk why don’t you hit me.” There is fear. I feel the fear from it. I feel it in my soul and it crushes me. The pain in which to have these words come from your mouth as if to say, “I know how this ends, so may as well just get to it,” encompasses so much hurt, fear, anger and brokenness that is beyond reason. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear involves punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:18-19.

Through praying for those around us, we surround them with God’s perfect love. When others pray for us, we become covered in God’s perfect love. When faced with a situation that is hard to watch and we don’t know what to do, we pray and fulfill our calling. When we are faced with fear and anger, the first thing we do is pray instead of lashing out; we are demonstrating love. We can have emotions, sit with them, and allow them to influence our judgement or choices, but when the first line of defence is prayer, the ability to work through them safely increases drastically. And their discomfort becomes more manageable. Don’t get me wrong, it still might be super uncomfortable, but it will be manageable.

I pray this prayer for us today.

Dear God. In this world, there is brokenness. More than we could ever imagine. You are a good God. You are a just God. You sent your son to die for us and feel the pain that we should have felt. And in that sacrifice, you called us to love and pray. When spoken plainly, it may seem simple but, in reality, proves to be challenging on the best of days. God, your word guides us and shares light on the path. I pray for those reading this and those whose situation prompted this post. Bring peace and healing. Let your words sink into our lives, and may your presence be felt among our weakness and strength. In Jesus’ name, Amen

You got this; I believe in you!